Change/ Saying Good-Bye

In recently gleaned some insight offered in the book Praying Our Good-Byes by Joyce Rupp that “in order for things to change, you have to let go of what you think is unchangeable.” It has made me reflect on what I might be clinging to or still carrying with me today. “Move on”, I have also heard but, to me, has always seemed like such callus advice. My heart has always had a will of its own so any attempt of logical direction has been futile. Revisiting this book that I had read back in July 2009 and reading the mediations on optimism by Father Gus has made me realize how negative I was to myself and others and how this general outlook has colored my interactions with people.

It is difficult to change but I think it first starts with acknowledging that love endures, to remember to be patient with yourself and to have hope. I am relieved to know that when you move on, you do not have to stop loving someone, nor is it a failure if you think of them. But just like any thought or emotion, you let them come into your mind then you also let them go - just like the tide. Rather than focusing your energy on the past, you choose to focus on what is working in your life and what is life-giving. When I think of all the blessing and graces in my life, I can focus on gratitude for God lighting my path and guiding me. Just like our sinfulness illuminates God’s mercy, our experiences illuminate God’s tender love and enables us to see how much of life is a gift .

Psalm 39 “I am but a passing guest” helps me to remember just how short our time is here on earth. I am reminded to treasure these moments and see them with wonder and grace. As I look back on my experiences, without a doubt, I can see the presence of God’s love and I have learned to trust in it. It is a continual process of having the courage to let go of that negative “unchangeable” in my mind so I can create space to receive something new. It is essential to believe that the future holds promise and that you are who God has made you to be.

There have been no shortage of negative people in my life, but I know it is pointless to try and control their thoughts nor am I responsible for them. And so, I let go of the negative people and thoughts in my life and I believe that whatever comes my way, my faith will sustain me. I know I am of value as part of the body of Christ (1 Cor 12:27) and each day I become stronger and better equipped to deal with change.

Below, I have included a litany that I have been using in my final days that has helped me deal with the guilt that comes with leaving.

From Praying Our Good-Byes by Joyce Rupp

“I give you praise, God of my journey,

For the power of love, the discovery of friends, the truth of beauty
For the wonder of growth, the kindling of fidelity, the taste of transformation
For the miracle of life, the seed of my soul, the gift of becoming
For the taste of the little dyings which have strengthened me for this moment
For the mystery of the journey, the bends in the road, the pauses that refresh
For the faith that lies deep enough to permeate discouragement and anxiety.

I give you thanks, God of my journey,

For all I have learned from the life of Jesus of how to say goodbye
For those who have always stood near me and given me spiritual energy
For your strength on which I can lean and your grace by which I can grow
For the desire to continue on, for believing that your power works through me
For being able to love so deeply, so tenderly, so truly
For feeling my poorness, my emptiness, my powerlessness
For believing that you will care for me in my vulnerability

I ask for forgiveness God of my journey,

For holding on too tightly
For refusing to be open to new life
For fighting off the dying that’s essential for growing
For insisting that I must be secure and serene
For ignoring your voice when you urged me to let go
For taking in all the goodness but being reluctant to share it
For doubting my inner beauty
For resisting the truth of my journey home to you

I beg assistance, God of my journey,

To accept that all of life is only on loan to me
To believe beyond this moment
To accept your courage when mine fails
To recognize the pilgrim part of my heart
To hold all of life in open hands
To treasure all that is gift and blessing
To look at the painful parts of my life and to grow through them
To allow your love to embrace me on the empty and lonely days
To receive the truth of your presence."

Amen.